The Wildest Stories from Kingdom Come 2: Delivering Mayhem and Laughter

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Medley of Absurd Side Quests

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just a brutally realistic medieval RPG; it's a comedic masterpiece brimming with unexpected absurdity. The following recounts some of the most ludicrous side quests encountered during my Bohemian escapades. These tales avoid main storyline spoilers, focusing solely on the game's unpredictable charm.

Table of Contents:

• Laboring for Untalented Troubadours
• Rescuing a Boozy Hunter (and Delivering Him to the Tavern)
• Philosophical Discussions with a Canine Companion
• A Thief's Mishap and the Price of Poor Planning
• A Horse, a Gypsy, and a Very Slow Breakfast
• Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Shines

Laboring for Untalented Troubadours

Želejov, a town boasting a bathhouse, fighting arena, and tavern, is home to two indolent troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their aspirations, however, are hampered by a lack of funds, instruments, and any discernible artistic vision.

Image: ensigame.com

Henry, ever the helpful protagonist, embarks on a series of increasingly bizarre tasks to assist them. This involves lute theft (risking arrest and reputational damage), procuring sheep gut strings, and even hauling sacks for these self-proclaimed musical geniuses who refuse to work off their debts.

Their reward for Henry's tireless efforts? A soul-crushingly dull song celebrating his less-than-glamorous exploits. The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and I, the player, burst into laughter.

Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter (and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern)

The aforementioned troubadour's strings require crafting by Vojtěch, a hunter who, through a combination of inebriation and wolf encounters, finds himself stuck in a tree. The intended quest involves rescuing him, saving his horse, and aiding his sobriety. The reward? A loyal ally.

But what happens when you deliver him directly to the tavern, as I did?

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The resulting tirade from a disgruntled, injured Vojtěch, carried over my shoulder through swamps and forests, was unforgettable. Our subsequent encounter yielded only a grudging offer of a scenic view behind his shack.

Philosophical Discussions with a Canine Companion

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The Polovtsians, responsible for the destruction of Henry's home, were expected to be vicious antagonists. Instead, I found myself drinking, singing, and matchmaking within their camp. Then, a talking dog interrupted, launching into a philosophical lecture on purpose and greatness, culminating in a lake-swimming dare (which I miraculously survived).

A Thief's Mishap and the Price of Poor Planning

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My foray into burglary ended abruptly. A botched heist, a witness, and a morning arrest (averted only through skillful persuasion) highlighted the game's attention to detail. It wasn't the theft itself, but the overlooked flashy accessories and lingering stench that sealed my fate.

A Horse, a Gypsy, and a Very Slow Breakfast

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A stolen horse, a sleeping gypsy horse trader (Mikolaj), and a lengthy porridge-fueled breakfast constituted this particular misadventure. The horse's escape and Mikolaj's leisurely morning made for a truly memorable (and hilarious) experience.

Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Shines

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These are just a few examples of the game's unique charm. Every action, no matter how insignificant, has unforeseen consequences. From rescuing inebriated hunters to philosophical debates with canines, Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 delivers unparalleled entertainment and replayability. Its commitment to realism and immersion makes each playthrough a truly unique experience. Bohemia awaits!